James Bond (Sean Connery) mentions this weird item in a saying I’ve never heard of in Diamonds Are Forever (1971).

Leading up to this quote, Bond is gassed and captured by Blofeld after breaking into his penthouse. Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd get a second shot of disposing of James Bond (hence their “try, try again” musing), transporting an unconscious 007 to a desert construction site. It’s another scene where Wint and Kidd just feel creepy, with odd mannerisms and curt interactions. They seem to be laughing and almost giddy as they drive to dispose of Bond’s body. Are they high?!

I particularly like the perfume tidbit in this scene that leads us to the aforementioned quote but also blows Wint and Kidd’s cover at the end of the movie. As they toss Bond in the trunk of the vintage, forgettable, brown 1970 Ford Thunderbird, a bottle of perfume drops out of Mr. Wint’s coat pocket, lands in the trunk and is smashed as Bond is put inside. Why does Mr. Wint insist on traveling around with a bottle of perfume in his jacket pocket? Who knows…but I’ll chalk it up to his overall weirdness.

Anyways, they exit out of a secret access tunnel into the desert in a sort of over-the-top manner – pushing a button in a remote control after seeing an “activate” sign as they drive in the tunnel and a large piece of fake desert (ingenious!) is raised and lowered to allow them to pass. I think a little too much thought was put into this scene. Although, as with all scenes in Diamonds, if they involve that signature hazy, woodwind melody that sticks in my head, I always have a soft spot for it.

Mr. Kidd! Push the garage door button…now!

Back to Bond and the remaining annoyances of this scene – where he now finds himself buried in a large pipe (for water transport?). How incompetent are the construction workers that they miss a body in one of the installed pipes? Seems like it wouldn’t get missed – which really shines a light on the believability of the whole scene. Are we really led to believe that Bond is transported to some pipe that Wint and Kidd knew was going to get installed the next day? Why not just strangle him? Are Wint and Kidd just bad at their jobs, or do they just like the thrill of messing with Bond? Weird.

As far as the pipes though – I really find that these pipe installation to be unbelievable without any inspection, no required manual connection or anything. The scene with the mouse (although I question one would show up so fast at a construction site) is okay I guess, although Craig’s mouse interaction in Spectre (2015) is better. I’ve never heard “tart’s handkerchief” line so I guess it’s a 1970’s UK thing?

And is there really an explanation for the robotic electric arm flailing machine? Are we collectively supposed to pretend we know it to be a rodent exterminating machine and perfectly normal to have in a tunnel? So odd – another aspect of this scene just over-done.

I’d have been fine with Bond escaping a flooded tunnel and not talking to a mouse, but that’s just me.

James Bond (Sean Connery) has a heart to heart with a mouse in Diamonds Are Forever (1971)