Originally published on October 21st, 2019.

All signs point to a No Time To Die dud.

I hope I’m wrong. Prove me wrong. Please. From a fan’s perspective, the 25th James Bond movie No Time To Die (2020) – Daniel Craig’s fifth and his last outing as 007 – was plagued from pre-production to its current status as a hopeful blockbuster and worthy entry into the James Bond canon.

Production Issues

Five long years since the last movie. A change in director. A change in release date. A broken ankle for Daniel Craig. Could anything else go wrong? Well, yes, of course it could. And sure, an on-set injury can happen, but I can also see it as a bad omen. The writing is on the wall, so to speak. I guess at least frogs haven’t rained down on-set. They continue to film and haven’t given up, so that’s a good thing.

Bond 26 pre-production should start NOW! We cannot wait until 2025! The announcement of the next James Bond actor should happen in 2021, at the latest. But it won’t. 🙁

Poor Marketing

It’s Daniel Craig’s last James Bond movie. Everyone and their mother wants Craig to go out with a bang. Fans are anxious and clamoring for news – anything – about the next Bond movie.

A press event is set! At GoldenEye! Ian Fleming’s hideaway in Jamaica! Oh happy day!
We don’t get a title…in fact, let’s refer to the movie as the most milquetoast name conceivable in the meantime: Bond 25. At least we get…a cast list? Such a letdown. Why not whisk some fans to Jamaica? Or wait until Rami Malek could actually join? Ya know…the Oscar winner – one of the stars of the movie? A social media campaign? A countdown? Contest? Nothing. Okay, fine…surely they will capitalize on press and media at the next big event.

Global James Bond Day! October 5th! 57 years since Dr. No’s release! Yes!
Wait, what is the day called again? The official 007 account is no longer used “Global” in the day’s title, so I guess it was changed? Without an announcement? What? Different hashtags trend. The promotion is disjointed and uneven. Missed opportunity.

Moving on…a contest is held. Yay! To enter, fans are essentially insulted – asked to reply with the name of the first James Bond movie ever made . The most boring way to enter a James Bond movie contest ever. How about start a discussion!? “What is your favorite James Bond movie and why?” “What was the first James Bond movie you ever saw and what was the story behind it?” Push on the nostalgia angle for the hardcore Bond fans…remind new fans why they are fans because they loved Skyfall so much!

Any TV channel should hold a James Bond movie marathon prior to this day. Sure, the AMC EON James Bond movie event was good, but it wasn’t nearly enough to celebrate the single greatest and James-Bond-est day of the year – and that wasn’t its intent anyway. Tweet-alongs should occur with the official 007 Twitter account through each movie showing with hashtags. Interview Bond alums and post the videos throughout the day. Stream all of the damn movies on 007.com for god’s sake – anything!

There are a bunch of Bond alums on social media. @ them! Distract Robert Davi (Franz Sanchez from Licence To Kill) from tweeting about his love of President Trump and wacko conspiracy theories and ask him how it felt to have an iguana on his shoulder. Anything! Engage with Bond fan podcasts…there are a ton of them! Hold a James Bond Convention! Give away merchandise…a ton of it! Unveil MORE merchandise! Make it affordable while you’re at it!

And more generally, the official James Bond Twitter @007 account refuses to use a #JamesBond hashtag in its tweets. Is that so hard to do? Is that so much to ask? Every Tweet, Instagram post and Facebook post published by the official accounts should have the #JamesBond hashtag – no exceptions. Let’s get Bond trending! Post more! Once or twice a day, there should be a Tweet, Instagram post and Facebook post from the official 007 accounts. There are 24 movies full of content to work with! Memes! Quotes! Caption Contests! Screenshots! Bloopers! Behind the scenes stuff! Anything!

A teaser poster is released! Wow! Er, wait…huh?
THIS is what you came up with? A ho-hum shot of a wrinkled Daniel Craig against a wall? I’m not advocating for botox here, but surely the lighting could be better. Are we supposed to want to know the exact blue of the wall to want to paint our house with the color? It just seemed so…lazy.

How about a mysterious poster, with an ominous tagline? I would have loved to see “You know the name, you know the number.” again. An illustrated homage to the awesome 1960s movie posters, perhaps? Why not?! We haven’t heard a peep about Rami Malek’s character yet. It’s a good thing and a bad thing that we haven’t, in my opinion. But this was a missed opportunity. Surely Malek and Craig could have “faced off” in the teaser poster for maximum effect and awesomeness. But no… 🙁

Terrible Social Media Spoilers and Controversy

Probably my own personal worst gripe so far in the production of NTTD has been the spoilers on social media.

Crappy, grainy shots of filming are attempted to be passed as “news” and get people excited about the movie. It just pisses me off. It doesn’t add anything to the equation. No one wants to see stunt doubles with dots on their face. A battered up DB5 doing donuts is not a good look. No, I don’t want to click on your BTS link to just to ruin a scene or stunt from the movie. Just stop.

So production team: close more roads. Block more views. Before filming, shoo away the onlookers. It’s worth it. If Times Square can be completely shut down for a movie, surely you can stop a few peeping toms from snapping shots. If not, take it to a soundstage. Technology can make anything look real these days, right?

*** Production proceeds take copyright/DMCA action against social media posts of on-set filming ***

Not like that, 007! The cat is out of the bag now…it’s too late! How insulting and sad. What is the point of this? What are you trying to do? A horrible solution to a problem YOU created, that just creats a bigger problem and a public relations headache. *facepalm* FAIL.

Sparse Curated/Released Information

THIS is how you should handle production of the longest and best movie franchise in history. Drop us some hints! Give us some information, but not all of it of course – unless you want to!

Yes, you have the power! But don’t you want us to get excited? Reveal tidbits of the movie, but tell us spoilers are incoming! Let fan theories run wild – it’s good for the hype! There is only so much we can speculate with “dangerous new technology” – throw us a bone! Don’t want us to know anything? Tell us what we should we get excited for!

James Bond…is not 007?

This is the plotline we should get excited for? Our favorite secret agent – is no longer a secret agent?

Of course, the devil’s in the details. But how about a triumphant James Bond arc in the Craig era for a change? Bond saves the day! Everyone loves him! He’s the best! Why not a promotion?! We’ve seen 007 on the outs, let’s see him on the up-and-up!

No one wants to wallow in misery anymore. There’s enough of that in the real world – let’s have some triumph! Make him the leader of the double-ohs. The head double-oh, if you will. Give Bond some underlings. Let him call (at least some) of the shots. He can do it, he has the experience.

Friggin’ Moneypenny spin-off rumors?!

I rest my case. Ugh…just no.

Full disclosure: I will attend a midnight showing of No Time To Die, regardless.

The Goldenrant is a fervent James Bond fan’s thoughts about 007. Positive or negative, the views expressed are those of the author himself.