Gun Barrel Theme.
James Bond: “My name’s Bond-James Bond.”
[A somber funeral processes down the street]
Hamilton: “Who’s, uh, funeral is it?”
[Hamilton is stabbed]
Kananga Henchman: “Yours!”
Hamilton: “Ughhh!”
[M and James Bond are having a spot of tea]
Moneypenny: “Q has repaired your wristwatch.”
James Bond: “Thank you, Moneypenny.”
M: “I’m sure the overburdened British taxpayer would be fascinated to know how the special ordinance section disburses it’s funds. In the future Commander, allow me to suggest a perfectly adequate watch maker just down the street.”
[Bond’s watch magnetizes and M’s spoon quickly jumps several feet, clinging to the watch]
M:“Good God!”
James Bond: “You see by pulling out this button, sir, it turns the watch into a hyper-intensified magnetic field, powerful enough to even deflect the path of a bullet. At long range-or so Q claims.”
M:“I feel very tempted to test that theory right now. If you don’t mind commander, my spoon.”
James Bond:“Oh, sorry sir.”
[James hands M his spoon back]
Tee Hee: “How much do you know about crocodiles, Bond?”
James Bond: “Oh, I’ve always tried to keep them at arm’s length, myself.”
Tee Hee: “There are two ways to disable a crocodile, you know.”
James Bond: “I don’t suppose you care to share that information with me?”
Tee Hee: “Well one way is to take a pencil, and jam it into the pressure hole behind his eye.”
James Bond: “And the other?”
Tee Hee: “Oh the other is twice as simple. You just put your hand in his mouth and pull his teeth out! Hahaha!”
Louisiana Policeman: “That look like a boat stuck in the Sheriff’s car there, Eddie?”
Louisiana Policeman: “Boy, where you been all your life? That there is one of them new car boats!”
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: “By the powers invested in me by this parish, I hereby do commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within. And that means you, smart ass.”
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: “What are you some kind of doomsday machine boy? Well we gotta cage strong enough to hold animal like you here!”
Felix Leiter: “Captain would you enlighten the Sheriff please?”
Captain: “Yes, sir. J.W., let me have a word with you. J.W. this fella is from London, England he’s an English man working in cooperation with our boys, sort of secret agent.”
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: “Secret agent?! On who’s side?!”
[Kananga swallows a shark gun pellet, inflates, and explodes]
Solitaire: “Where’s Kananga?”
James Bond: “Oh, he always did have a inflated opinion of himself.”
[Baron Samedi’s famous laugh]
