daniel craig

Daniel Craig needed a shave and a shower as a hungover mess in Skyfall (2012)

James Bond is a Dork

Here are the dorkiest moments of each Bond actor’s career:

Sean Connery tries to pull of the pink tie in Diamonds Are Forever (1971)...and fails.

Sean Connery tries to pull of the pink tie in Diamonds Are Forever (1971)…and fails. DORK!

George Lazenby's Scottish get-up in On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) screamed "dork."

George Lazenby’s Scottish get-up in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) screamed “dork.”

Roger Moore's clown costume in Octopussy (1983) takes the cake...the ultimate dorkiest Bond moment!

Roger Moore’s clown costume in Octopussy (1983) takes the cake…the ultimate dorkiest Bond moment!

Timothy Dalton's "look" prior to fishing Franz Sanchez out of the sky in Licence To Kill (1989).

Timothy Dalton’s “look” prior to fishing Franz Sanchez out of the sky in Licence To Kill (1989).

Sorry James, but not even Pierce Brosnan in The World Is Not Enough (1999) can pull off purple glasses (even x-ray ones).

Sorry James, but not even Pierce Brosnan in The World Is Not Enough (1999) can pull off purple glasses (even x-ray ones).

Daniel Craig needed a shave and a shower as a hungover mess in Skyfall (2012)

Daniel Craig needed a shave and a shower as a hungover mess in Skyfall (2012)

No Time To Die (2021) - It's just a number

It’s just a number

Craig’s 007 is down on his luck after the kind of weird chase scene from No Time To Die (2021). He’s picked up by…007…(Nomi) in yet another car that should be getting more screen time in the movie, similar to Paloma. Wow, great revving of that ridiculous Aston Martin engine on the tarmac, I guess. Couldn’t have had a chase where Bond is the passenger and another 00 agent flexes their skill? Missed opportunity…and I distinctly remember these words enter my head about certain characters and parts of NTTD where screen times or parts of the movie were too short or not emphasized enough. I’d definitely say it’s one of my biggest gripes about the movie aside from (of course) the atrocious ending.

Anyways, back in this scene, Nomi does her best Mayday (O_o) impression ([]-[]) with some weird-ass (probably expensive) uncomfortable-looking sunglasses. Their conversation is interesting though: aside from his stern yet poignant “Where have you been?,” it was a little odd to hear Bond mention Swann’s (and his!) daughter and not speak up that she’s actually his child. Is he not proud of Mathilde? Is he embarrassed? Or does he just want to focus on the mission? Same goes for in the plane. M doesn’t mention that “Dr. Swann and her daughter” is actually Bond’s daughter as well, aside from telling Bond he “hopes they’re there.” If he doesn’t know, why wouldn’t Bond mention it? And if Bond has told no one, how would MI6 know to “give” the Aston Martin DB5 (which is a whole other ball of blah) at the end of the movie? It’s another scene in NTTD where a mention of Mathilde throws off the movie and detracts from its overall plot and flow. Stupid kid.

Luckily in this scene, however, Bond mentions the elephant in the room that exists whenever these two are together – namely, who is actually 007 now that Bond is back?

At the end of the car dialogue, Bond seems okay with passing the torch (“Thank you, 007.”), but getting in the plane, I think Q is about to welcome Nomi on as 007 but hesitates as Bond has passes by. Maybe Nomi can sense Bond wants 007 back or just feels it’s the right thing to do? During the movie, I enjoyed the back-and-forth and debate between them and M, but overall at the end, this small plot point wasn’t really as appealing or worthwhile. Instead, I’d have preferred Bond’s code name put on-hold (or retired?) and awarded to him on his return. Nomi would have been a better 002 or 0010 (yes, why not double-oh ten? The numbers have to go past 9, right? Could’ve put that question to bed…)

No Time To Die (2021) - It's just a number

James Bond (Daniel Craig) and Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) dine together in Casino Royale (2006)

#ClassyAF

James Bond (Daniel Craig) and Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) dine together in Casino Royale (2006)

James Bond (Daniel Craig) and Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) dine together in Casino Royale (2006)

I’ve always thought this dinner setting looked awesome!

Daniel Craig as James Bond in Spectre (2015)

Like A Boss

Daniel Craig as James Bond in Spectre (2015)

Daniel Craig as James Bond in Spectre (2015)

Like A Boss

BOOM! :)

Daniel Craig as James Bond in Casino Royale (2006)

There’s just one thing I need

I mean…I don’t want to hype up the end of Spectre (2015) too much, but is there *really* a better end to a James Bond movie?

I just love everything about it – starting with a quiet, unassuming, empty downtown London – the shot of the flying, steadfast Union Jack after the madness of the toppling of Blofeld. Bond can take a deep breath.

What will he do next? Where will he go?

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The Evening Train

The evening train sequence from Spectre (2015) is arguably one of the best sequences of any James Bond movie. It’s often compared to the train sequence in From Russia With Love (1963), but I’d argue this one has it beat.

The look and feel of the start of the evening dinner with Bond (Daniel Craig) and Swann (Lea Seydoux) is visually stunning. Cinematographically, the dim and understated lighting on the dining car gives the scene an authentic, vintage look that would transport any Bond fan to their favorite 1960’s Bond movie.

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Sean Connery as James Bond, with the tarantula in Dr. No (1962)

Craig handled arachnids better than Connery

Sean Connery as James Bond, with a tarantula in Dr. No (1962)Sean Connery as James Bond, with a tarantula in Dr. No (1962)

Daniel Craig as James Bond, with a scorpion in Skyfall (2012)Daniel Craig as James Bond, with a scorpion in Skyfall (2012)

James Bond's daughter, Mathilde (Lisa-Dorah Sonnet), from No Time To Die (2021)...ugh.

J’ai faim

This is easily some of the worst 44 seconds of any James Bond movie ever.

As anyone who knows my opinion of No Time To Die (2021), it obviously revolves around the awful Mathilde/daughter plot line from the movie. In this cringe-worthy, throwaway, awful scene, we see an attempt at portraying a domesticated secret agent James Bond, 007 interact with a toddler (his daughter…ugh!) during a morning routine where a false sense of security is palpable.

I hate everything about it:

  • Mathilde
  • Her stupid bunny doll, dou-dou
  • The stupid kid’s tv show shown on the TV (no one cares!)
  • The way Bond peels the apple
  • The fact that Bond uses a switchblade to peel the apple
  • Bond’s “cutesie” look at Mathilde
  • Why are none of the subtitles punctuated? (maybe it’s just this version?)
  • Madeleine’s “now, dear!” look
  • Did I mention Mathilde???

Just total cringe. Friends don’t let friends put kids in a James Bond movie. *puke*

James Bond's daughter, Mathilde (Lisa-Dorah Sonnet), from No Time To Die (2021)...ugh.

James Bond’s daughter, Mathilde (Lisa-Dorah Sonnet), from No Time To Die (2021)…ugh.

First five seconds of Skyfall (2012)

Dun DUN!

First five seconds of Skyfall (2012)The first five seconds of Skyfall (2012) may be the best start of any Bond movie.