To start things off, I called it two years ago: No Time To Die is going to suck
Fair warning – this review is full of spoilers and is interspersed with GIFs from previous Bond movies to convey my emotions and opinions.
Like most Bond fans, I was very excited to see No Time To Die. The two-plus year delay somewhat added to the hype but also annoyed me at the same time which was an odd feeling that I’ve never experienced for a new James Bond movie. Regardless, I saw it at the earliest possible showing.
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This is easily some of the worst 44 seconds of any James Bond movie ever.
As anyone who knows my opinion of No Time To Die (2021), it obviously revolves around the awful Mathilde/daughter plot line from the movie. In this cringe-worthy, throwaway, awful scene, we see an attempt at portraying a domesticated secret agent James Bond, 007 interact with a toddler (his daughter…ugh!) during a morning routine where a false sense of security is palpable.
I hate everything about it:
- Mathilde
- Her stupid bunny doll, dou-dou
- The stupid kid’s tv show shown on the TV (no one cares!)
- The way Bond peels the apple
- The fact that Bond uses a switchblade to peel the apple
- Bond’s “cutesie” look at Mathilde
- Why are none of the subtitles punctuated? (maybe it’s just this version?)
- Madeleine’s “now, dear!” look
- Did I mention Mathilde???
Just total cringe. Friends don’t let friends put kids in a James Bond movie. *puke*
James Bond’s daughter, Mathilde (Lisa-Dorah Sonnet), from No Time To Die (2021)…ugh.
In No Time To Die (2021), right before Bond (Daniel Craig) gets coaxed out of “retirement,” we see the simple solitary island life he leads, content with the world. After a successful snapper catch/diving session, he comes to port in his sweet sailboat (with Red Ensign flag on the stern) and his speargun, flippers and snorkel in tow. He’s not dressed to impress here, as his t-shirt has multiple holes and I’d advise not to wear those dorky croakies anywhere in public. He seems carefree.
Eagle-eyed James Bond fans would recognize the setting as the real-world Goldeneye estate where Ian Fleming first started writing the James Bond novels – an awesome hat-tip to Bond history. My only complaint is that we didn’t see more of Bond’s island life. It would have been great to go along with him on his diving session or see how he passes the time.
